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Hamster Shredders and More… |
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Dr. Samuel Says -
Weirdness
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Written by Dr. Samuel Centralia, Ph.D., D.D.S., Esq.
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Friday, 26 October 2007 |
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In terms of lo-tech ingenuity and strict practicality, the Hamster Shredder Mark I must be admired. No, it's not for shredding hamsters. I would never shred a hamster. They're far too useful. I keep several colonies of genetically engineered hamsters here at Dyscern World HQ Labs, for testing and experiments. All thoroughly humane, I assure you. Trust me -- these guys live like kings. Most can beat me in chess, and I borrow money from them all the time.
No, as you can see, the Hamster Shredder is a device that will benefit us both.
More
weirdness from the wires today. I suppose it was inevitable that it
comes to this, but you can now purchase a variety of energy snacks to
go with your energy drinks. Phoenix Fury potato chips are "laced with
taurine, caffeine and B-vitamins." I don't know that "laced" is the
word they're looking for there -- makes me think of certain controlled
substances I enjoyed in my youth. Then there are Sumseeds, similarly
"energized" sunflower seeds endorsed by no less a luminary than Hall of
Fame baseball player Tony Gwynn (unofficially, I would hazard to
guess.) Google around for a while, and you can find dozens of items in
this vein. In fact, you don't even have to involve the GI tract at all
-- consider the astonishingly crowded market for caffeinated soap.
Finally
today, we have an item concerning favorite pastime of mine -- the
deliberately ironic repurposing of materials to create utilitarian, yet
thought-provoking, objects. In this case, the Fully Loaded Chair. Made
from 400 or so 12-guage shotgun shells, the chair's brass tip seating
surface provides a massaging texture "much to the contrary of their
intended use." Indeed. Just don't sit down too fast.
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