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The Lighter Side of Online Product Reviews |
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Dr. Samuel Says -
Bidness
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Written by Dr. Samuel Centralia, Ph.D., D.D.S., Esq.
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Thursday, 13 December 2007 |
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The following item was forwarded to me by loyal reader and discerning online shopper Carrie S. It illustrates nicely, I think, the power of the Internet in regard to issues of consumer advocacy. Such displays of selfless endeavor are especially relevant during the holiday shopping season. Also, if you happen to need a pen.
The link is here. It's a typical product page at the UK Amazon
superportal website. Only in this case, the product displayed is rather
odd. It's, well … it's a pen. A perfectly ordinary Bic Crystal medium
ballpoint pen, black. Price per unit: £0.13. In stock. Delivery by
Christmas Day possible, but not guaranteed, in the UK.
But scroll down a bit, and you will find a wealth of customer reviews
on this particular medium ballpoint pen. You know how it works, with
Amazon. You've got all the reviews, with ratings of one to five stars.
So far: 44 full-length, remarkably insightful product reviews. Some
excerpts:
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Since taking delivery of my pen I have been very happy with the quality
of ink deposition on the various types of paper that I have used.
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I notice that the barrel of the pen has been crafted very carefully to
fit in the pen holder down the edge of my Filofax. It's not so grippy
so that it is hard to remove when I want to make a quick note, and yet
not so loose that it falls out too easily.
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The pen fits perfectly, behind my ear, so that I can carry it (hands free) easily from one location to the next.
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The Bic pen is an excellent writing tool but has other uses that
warrant mentioning. For example, I am surprised that none of my fellow
reviewers have drawn attention to the Bic pen's sterling qualities as a
tube through which tiny quantities of spittle-impregnated paper can be
fired at a tremendous rate of speed, and with excellent accuracy.
Of course, not all the reviews are glowing:
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Perhaps it is just me but I have received delivery and am a little
disappointed. The image of the pen above clearly shows the pen hovering
over the lid at an angle of 45 degrees (approximately). Since delivery
this morning I have watched mine sit constantly on my desk at what I
can only describe as a "horizontal" angle.
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Amazon is one of the few sellers to ship pens that come with the
original 1.0 Bic firmware. If you do buy one, be sure not to download
the latest edition from the Bic website. Doing so will enable the pens
controversial DRM functions. I have been unable to write any sentence
that has previously appeared in literature, song lyrics, even the
titles of movies.
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In all respects it is a fine pen. As a weapon, however, it is seriously
lacking. When confronted with a sword, the sword was, once again, the
clear winner. It sheared straight through the plastic housing and
emerged unscathed.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. No one follows through on a running gag like the British. Salut, sirs!
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