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Doc Sam’s 15 Second Theater Presents... |
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Dr. Samuel Says -
Weirdness
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Written by Dr. Samuel Centralia, Ph.D., D.D.S., Esq.
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Thursday, 19 November 2009 |
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Doc Sam’s 15 Second Theater presents radically distilled dramatic works for dissemination via various communication modalities. Or: My concession to the American attention span. In this week's edition, we present...
Doc Sam’s 15 Second Theater: If the Blackberry 9500 Hit Stores Prior to the Cuban Missile Crisis
 PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY sits behind his desk in the Oval Office,
hunched over a small consumer electronic device. He giggles. Suddenly,
the door bursts open and U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL ROBERT F. KENNEDY enters
the room.
RFK: Jack! Jack! You’ve got to get downstairs right now! EXCOMM is
holding an emergency meeting—the Soviets are ignoring the blockade!
JFK: Just a minute, Bobby. I’m texting those stewardesses we met on the Brazil trip.
RFK: Jack, listen to me! This is serious! We’re at DEFCON 2! The Chiefs have wired the radar bases directly to NORAD!
JFK: Hee, hee—oh, such a naughty girl…
RFK: Dammit, Jack, put that thing down!
JFK: She’s asking about you, Bobby. [pause]. Wow, read this—is that even anatomically possible?
RFK stomps around to the front of the desk and pulls the President up
by his lapels. The President barely seems to notice as he continues
texting.
RFK: Jack! Snap out of it! The U2 photos show they’ve already fueled
the missiles! Cuba has fired SAMs at our recon planes! Troops are
massing on the Berlin border! We have to do something!
JFK: Hmm, how do you spell “ménage”?
RFK grabs the Blackberry and slams it to the ground. Just then, a
blinding flash of light illuminates the room from the outside window.
JFK: Uh-oh….
FINI
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