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Cultural Weirdness: The Fake Fireplace Video |
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Dr. Samuel Says -
New Toys
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Written by Dr. Samuel Centralia, Ph.D., D.D.S., Esq.
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Thursday, 03 December 2009 |
Of all the strange pop culture artifacts produced by consumer electronics technology, perhaps the strangest is the phenomenon of the fake fireplace video. Initially released on VHS, these videos are just what they sound like -- footage of fireplace fires that you play on your home video machine in order to turn your TV into an ersatz hearth. In recent years, fake fireplace videos have migrated to DVD and, yes, even high-definition Blu-ray. Sure, it’s easy to make fun of these things, but -- to tell the awful truth -- they’re actually kind of nice, in a multimedia white noise kind of way. I’ve had one on permanent loop here in Dyscern World HQ Labs, and it seems to calm the rhesus monkeys.
 I recently got my hands on the most recent fake fireplace to hit the market, Living Fireplace: Volume 2. As loyal readers will already know, I spent several years in the 1970s as film critic for the now-defunct MIT Arts & Leisure Journal. So I thought I might dust off my old film-critic hat and give this film a proper review:
Hotly anticipated by fans of the burgeoning fireplace genre, Living Fireplace: Volume 2 has finally been released to home video this week on both DVD and Blu-ray. Superior to the original in every way, this stunning sequel in an unqualified cinematic triumph -- and nothing short of an epochal event in the world of fake fireplace videos.
The film begins -- languidly, serenely -- with an extreme close-up of a popping and crackling fire. Almost Lynchian in its dreamlike ambiance, the scene slowly unfolds. Blue flames lick the underside of the foreground birch log. Smoke swirls in soft focus at the edges of the flue. It’s a devastating mise en scene, evoking the aching nostalgia of hearth and home, but with malevolent, stygian menace.
Subtly but inexorably, the scene shifts. Candles appear, nearly spectral, in the corners of the frame. What appears to be a wreath above the hearth offers devastating counterpoint to the dying branches below. Beyond the crackling flames we hear a melody -- haunting, insistent. As the lyrics become intelligible, the viewer is left to ponder: Who is this Santa Claus? And why … why is he coming to town?
To reveal anymore would be to spoil the experience of this remarkable film. Living Fireplace: Volume 2 took the Jury Prize earlier this year at the Montpellier Faux Fireplace Festival and earned superlative reviews from the field’s top critics. (“Mesmerizing, hypnotic,” wrote the Paris Review’s Denis Higbert. “Audacious in its total rejection of cinematic narrative convention.”)
Reclusive filmmaker Stephen Spivak, founder and president of Screen Dreams Publishing Inc., released a short statement upon the film’s release:
“Our new and improved Living Fireplace: Volume 2 is the perfect holiday gift and offers more features and scenes than ever before,” Spivak said. “Since launching Living Fireplace four years ago, we continue to be the leader in fireplace DVDs with our unparalleled variety of unique scenes, crisp HD picture, calming sound effects, and gorgeous music tracks that allow Living Fireplace: Volume 2 to instantly transform any HDTV into a vibrant window of warmth.”
Indeed.
Living Fireplace: Volume 2 is available for $9.99 at www.ScreenDreamsDVD.com and via select national retailers.
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