I'm all for the TV V-chip system. People make fun of it, but almost invariably these are people without children. The V-chip does a good job of putting content filtering where it belongs -- within the family unit. (Parents can program TVs with the V-chip to block content according to the FCC rating system.)

Now personally, I don't have children. But I do have several colonies of cybernetic, superintelligent lab rats, and I simply don't want them exposed to the harsh language of basic cable. It's not a moral isue. I just don't want a labful of delinquent rodents quoting South Park dialogue at me. The super V-chip initiative presumes that such a content rating system can work across all new and emerging communication platforms. The idea that the FCC can effectively monitor and regulate this -- that we can somehow get a single content filtering system to work across all possible communication vectors -- is simply absurd. V-chip works OK with the relatively contained system of broadcast television on the living room TV set. Trying to expand it into the realm of online and digital formats is breathtakingly naive.

Nevertheless, the new bill requires the FCC to come up with a plan within12 months, and your government will spend a lot of your money on it in the years to come. In other news, the federal government today announced plans to staunch the flow of the Missouri river using several segments of porch screening obtained at the local Home Depot.

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